Heavenly Hospitality: 250+ Everyday Ideas for Welcoming Guests Into . . (Paperback)

Chapter One

"Business! ... Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forebearance, and benevolence were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!" -Marley's ghost to Scrooge, A CHRISTMAS CAROL by Charles Dickens

Elly Parker grudgingly opened her tired eyes to glare at the alarm clock. 6:30 A.M. She had just fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep when that annoying buzzer beckoned her to get up. A good night's rest had eluded her as she worried about the day to come. This was the day the pastor and his family were coming for dinner, and Elly wanted to impress them.

Instead of sleeping Elly had tossed around dinner menu options. She had never had anyone over for dinner before but according to the magazines she read, fancy foods were expected. She felt that all her usual family favorites were too humble. Something showy and expensive had to be prepared. But what? While watching TV the night before she had thumbed through her cookbooks. Everything looked so difficult, expensive, complicated, and time consuming.

Besides the menu, other concerns kept her awake. When would she find time to clean the house, do the grocery shopping, set the table, and cook dinner with all the other commitments she had? Could she get out of driving for the fourth-grade fall field trip at the last moment? Was there time to buy new dishes? Could her budget handle all the costly foods and new dishes?

Twelve hours later Pastor Sam Schubert, his wife, Sally, and their two toddlers arrived a fashionable five minutes late. Elly's long-suffering husband, Paul, welcomed them at the front door and invited them to sit in the living room. The room smelled like it had just been vacuumed and indeed the vacuum cleaner was still warm. Paul offered their guests soft drinks. They accepted. Paul went to the kitchen to fetch them. There he found his bedraggled Elly up to her elbows in strange salad dressing ingredients amid three open cookbooks and piles of dirty dishes. It didn't look like dinner would be served any time soon.

Paul valiantly returned to the Schuberts to try to keep them entertained until dinner. Conversation canvassed everything from Creation to conservation to conservatives. Elly would have enjoyed it if she hadn't been struggling in the kitchen to get the new food processor running. The Parker kids played with the visiting toddlers who soon became hungry and restless.

Sally eventually popped into the kitchen to see if she could help. Elly firmly denied any need of assistance. Sally wondered what had come over her usually placid friend and felt it safest to leave her alone.

Ninety minutes passed before dinner was announced. The hungry mob was in the mood to eat just about anything, but after grace Elly's kids loudly questioned the identity of the suspicious green unlettucey-looking stuff in the salad. The pastor's toddlers followed suit and refused to eat it. The basket of hard rolls emptied fast.

The ensuing dinner presentation would have made any professional cook proud. The standing rib roast majestically stood amid a wreath of parsley. The asparagus, though cold, was attractively arranged with swirls of yellow sauce on top. Exotic spices made the potatoes out-of-this-world delicious-to a discerning, sophisticated palate. Unfortunately, the table was surrounded with regular folks.

During the meal poor Elly constantly rushed between the dining room and kitchen. She hardly had a minute to enjoy the fruits of her labor much less the pleasure of visiting with her company. Besides that, she seemed angry, mumbling things like, "I have to do everything around here," and "Can't Paul see that I need help?" The tone of the evening became strained at best.

When one of her kids accidentally spilled his drink, Elly came unglued. Her freshly ironed tablecloth was a mess! Why couldn't he be more careful! Her son stood in the corner for fifteen minutes as punishment. Everyone was embarrassed-not by the spilled milk but by Elly's overreaction. The ambiance took another dive.

Using toddler bedtimes as an excuse, the pastor and his family left as soon as the last bite of rich dessert was gone. They seemed glad to leave. Sally told Elly that she would like to get together with her again sometime. Perhaps a coffee-shop date?

As soon as the door closed behind the Schuberts Elly buried her head on Paul's broad shoulders and had a good cry. The evening had been a disaster! What would they think of her?! She was a failure! How could she ever show her face at church again? It was quite a pity party. Paul just held her and prayed. He knew Elly would be more objective and teachable after a good night's rest.

* * *

Elly had a lot to learn about hospitality. The Schuberts didn't make a quick exit because they didn't like the asparagus dish. They left because they felt like an inconvenience to their hostess. Elly stumbled because her mind-set was out of kilter with the mission of hospitality.

We shouldn't be too quick to judge Elly, however. Like her, many of us rarely invite others into our homes because we are so busy with other responsibilities. When we do extend an invitation, we are often plagued with the same doubts and insecurities that kept Elly awake all night.

So before we even venture into the "how-to's" of hospitality, we need to address the basic question: Why bother? We'll do this by considering seven key questions.

Why should I share?

Everything belongs to God.

Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." Colossians 1:16 adds that "all things were created by him and for him." Without the Creator you would have nothing. Any good blessing you can mention is a gift from God for you to use for his purposes. This includes your home, the food in your fridge, and your time. Yes, you get to use them, but in truth you are merely a steward of his good gifts. How are you using your God-given home?

Many Christians have a dedication ceremony when they move into their new home. At ours we recognized that our modest "fixer-upper," like everything else we own, in reality belongs to God and is to be used for furthering his kingdom. Your home isn't just where you unwind at the end of a long day; it is a gift from God meant to be used for his service. Viewing it with that attitude can transform how you use your home.

God has richly blessed you for a reason. Other people are that reason. Once you accept that, you'll begin thinking how you can use your home to reach out to others. The extra bedroom becomes "The Missionary Room." You arrange your living room furniture so that it is conducive for conversation because you want to be able to comfortably listen to and pray for a hurting friend. You move the china cabinet into the living room so you can fit a larger table into the dining room where more people can be seated. You choose carpet based on how well it hides dirt rather than its color or texture. (You will find more specific help for making your home hospitality-friendly in chapter 2.)

I often hear people say that they do not have time to practice hospitality. They are really saying that it is not a priority. Loving and caring for others is mentioned-perhaps I should say commanded-so often in Scripture that opportunities to do so should be on our mind constantly. Often the biggest obstacle to obedience is our to-do list, which is generally filled with a list of tasks rather than the names of people. Many of those things could wait another day while you minister to the people God has put in your life today. Better yet, put hospitality on your to-do list.

Why Should I Care?

People have eternal value.

Eternity will be spent with whos, not whats. People have eternal value. Things do not.

Reality Check

Whatever you have is good enough.

Your furniture does not have to match, look nice, or be new.

Your attitude is what is important. Welcome all visitors with a smile, open heart, and generous soul. That is what they will remember.

In 2 Corinthians 5:15-16, Paul reminds us that Christ "died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view" (italics mine).

I receive much more joy from my relationships than I ever will from my stuff. When I count my blessings, they all have a first and last name. My fondest memories all revolve around loved ones, and many of the best are times when I opened my home to bless others, only to find myself abundantly blessed by my guests.

Last year some friends from Oregon spent a few days at the Janssen B & B. We wanted to give them a lovely time because we knew that they had been experiencing some difficulties in their marriage. Also, we were aware that one of their children had spent the last ten years struggling with depression. While they were with us, our friends immediately recognized the symptoms of depression in one of our own children, who was going through a difficult time. They were able to counsel and encourage us. It was obvious that God had put them in our lives just when we needed them.

Quite often we can use our homes to meet the needs of people and practice hospitality. By the way, when Jesus told us to be hospitable, he didn't say we should wait until our living room furniture matches so we won't be embarrassed. That leads me to the next principle.

What if my house isn't perfect?

Be content.

"Be content with such things as ye have" (Hebrews 13:5, KJV). Whether you live in a cozy cave or a crumbling castle, God has put you there right now, doing his ministry with what he has provided. The apostle Paul received guests while he was in prison. We should never be embarrassed by our homes.

Look at your home through the eyes of ministering instead of comparing it to the pictures in glossy decorating magazines. The family you invite for Sunday dinner will not care if they sit on unmatched chairs and eat off a variety of cheap dishes. They will just be tickled that someone actually had them over for a meal!

My grandma Pulsipher lived the last fifteen years of her long life in a single-wide mobile home. She welcomed many into her cozy place for coffee and counseling. I remember drinking tea served in china cups at her tiny table. She never apologized for her humble home-she just kept ministering.

Practicing contentment frees us up to do more important things. Which has greater eternal value: shopping for the perfect rug or hosting a Bible study in your home? It requires a great deal of time, energy, and money to keep up with the Joneses.

Are you content with your home or do you rearrange numbers until you can barely qualify for a bigger mortgage and nicer digs? I know a few people who live in posh neighborhoods but have gone into serious credit card debt because their house payment takes up so much of their monthly income. The financial pressure creates family discord, and the hopelessness of the situation is constantly on their minds. Their luxurious master bedroom is no longer conducive to sleep. Great house. Crummy life.

Right now much of my family's money is designated for educating our three children. That leaves very little for accumulating bigger and better things, but we always find a way to practice hospitality. Our values and contentment foster creativity.

What if I don't have much money to entertain others?

Make the most of what you do have.

Jesus served five thousand men, along with an untold number of women and children, with a few loaves of bread and fishes. You may not be able to perform that miracle, but you may be surprised at what you can do if you get creative. In chapter 4 I will show you how to expand a typical family dinner to accommodate an extra guest or two.

You may think you simply do not have the right dishes, decorations, etc., to have dinner guests. Be content with what God has given you and look at what you do have through new eyes. Sheets for a tablecloth, wildflowers for a centerpiece, a set of mismatched teacups, and eating on a blanket in the middle of the living room floor can all be quite charming. I still remember when friends invited Al and me over to test a new recipe and ran out of dinner napkins. We cheerfully used kitchen towels instead.

My in-laws owned beautiful silver and gold flatware, an amazing array of hand-embroidered table linens, and lovely china. But they never used them. My husband had never even seen them until his mother gave them to me as gifts. Al's parents rarely entertained and when they did, they did not want to bother getting out the dishes and silverware. I want to encourage you to use those family heirlooms and wedding presents. Serving macaroni and cheese on china elevates the mundane to elegant.

Candlelight creates a special ambiance no matter what the rest of the environment looks like. A few dried flowers in a jam jar make a centerpiece. Coffee mugs can be used for soup bowls. An unmatched set of chairs, dishes, glasses, flatware, or napkins is so much more interesting than a perfectly coordinated one.

When you decide to serve pizza because you would not have enough forks to go around if you served anything else, it pays to have a sense of humor. That brings me to my next point.

What if my party doesn't go perfectly?

Rejoice evermore!

The Bible tells us how to react to anything life brings us: "Rejoice evermore.... In every thing give thanks" (1 Thessalonians 5:16, 18, KJV). Have a sense of humor. Things will go wrong. You will forget your best friend's name, ruin dinner, have plumbing problems, and so on (just hopefully not all on the same evening!). The best reaction to life's little disasters is to laugh. It lightens up the atmosphere. It creates a memorable moment. It proves that you are humble and imperfect but that's okay with you.

One of our funniest memories is the time our oven caught fire. One fall Saturday afternoon Al was at home helping a professional baseball player and his wife plan the book they were to write. I had decided to put together a lasagna dinner that evening to cap off the day of work. Instead I woke up feeling awful. I called my neighborhood Italian restaurant and ordered lasagna, salad, and bread sticks. When it came to dessert, I figured I had enough energy to make my favorite carrot cake.

Have you ever noticed that many recipes give special instructions for those living in high altitudes? My family lives in Colorado so those instructions apply to me.

Continues...