Between Two Loves: Devotions for Women Whose Husbands Don't Share Their Faith (Hardback)

Chapter One

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith. Hebrews 10:22

I had been a Christian for a few years when I joined a prayer group with three other young moms my age-and a brash nineteen-year-old named Kenny. Reluctant to study the Bible and put what little I did study into practice, Kenny constantly chided me for holding back in my faith. At the time, I was concerned that my relationship with the Lord was driving my husband and me apart, and I was afraid if I drew any closer to God, it would cause an even bigger rift. To me, it made more sense to wait until Barry joined me in the faith, and then we could draw closer to the Lord together.

Kenny disagreed.

To prove his point, he drew an equilateral triangle on a piece of paper and labeled the top point GOD and the base points HUSBAND and WIFE.

"The closer you move toward God, the closer you'll be to your husband," he said.

I thanked him for his insight, but I didn't believe him. What did some nineteen-year-old kid know about marriage? When I got home, I took out my ruler so I could prove him wrong.

But the kid was right.

Geometrically speaking, a husband and wife are never farther apart than when they're both at the base. And even if only one person moves toward God, the distance between the two spouses decreases.

When a believer is married to an unbeliever, there's always the temptation to hold back, to wait for the other one to come along. But the truth is, unless you move forward, you actually move farther away.

"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8 RSV). Draw near to God, and trust that you'll be drawn closer to your husband as well.

* * *

Loving Father, It wasn't always like this- This distance between my husband and me. I miss him. I long to be close to him again, Yet I long to be close to you as well. Once again, I'm feeling torn. And afraid. You're bidding me to draw near to you And promising that if I do, you'll draw near to me too. Although I long to have my husband join me so we can draw near together, Ultimately, we each stand before you on our own. When I hold back from you, I miss out on so much that you have for me- Love and patience, peace and joy, wisdom and strength- All the gifts that enable me to draw near to the one I love. Thank you, Lord. I see much more clearly now. Draw me nearer, my precious Lord. Amen.

Is My Marriage a Mistake?

* * *

Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? Esther 4:14 (NKJV)

* * *

Nobody gets married with the desire to live unhappily ever after. We stand next to our beloved and promise to love each other:

For better ("We'll have such fun!")

For worse ("How bad can it get? Our love will see us through")

For richer ("A four-bedroom house will be perfect")

For poorer ("We'll survive on macaroni and cheese")

You know the rest.

But we probably never planned on one day having our lives radically changed by faith in Christ-and we never, ever imagined the resulting spiritual chasm.

Then one day we find ourselves wondering if our marriage was a mistake. We ask, "Are my kids being harmed because their dad makes fun of my faith? Wouldn't it be better to get out now and find a Christian to marry?"

However, the question isn't, "Do I think my marriage is a mistake?" but "Does God think it's a mistake?"

In their book What If I Married the Wrong Person? Dr. Richard Matteson and Janis Long Harris point out that dwelling on whether or not you married the right person ignores God's stake in the choice you already made.

No matter whom we chose to marry, it didn't take God by surprise. Not only that, even if we did make a mistake, God is more than able to take it and use it as part of his higher plans for us, our husbands, our children, their children, and so on.

God knows what he is doing. He never says "Oops." So, next time you start thinking that your marriage is a mistake, consider this: It just might be that God has placed you with this man at this time for his kingdom purpose.

From eternity's perspective, it's not a mistake. It's a call to service.

* * *

Lord, When I look at my life-at my marriage- Sometimes it's hard to remember that none of this Took you by surprise. It's easy to forget that everything Is from your all-wise and loving hand. You who keep the stars in place knew what you were doing When you placed me with this man. He's the husband you have given me. Even if we married because of a sinful choice Being married isn't sinful. It's not a mistake either, because you don't make mistakes. Thank you, Lord, for in that I can rest. Rest ... and be confident that all things, Even my most foolish choices, You will work together for good. You've promised it. Please keep reminding me, Lord. It's so easy to forget. Amen.

(Continues...)